Addiction

My freshmen year was mostly a blur, Im definitely not the same person I was or even close to who I aspire to be.

 Not long before freshmen year started I was given medications for anxiety and depression. 

As well as according to my parents I was extremely antisocial even the I simply saw it as protecting myself from the evil of humans.

 There was always a lot of pressure on me because I was the oldest kid in the house, but not in the immediate family. 

My sister even tho it felt like she hated me, apparently looked up to me and did whatever I did. 

This became a problem when I began going to high school everyday and when I was home the only thing I did was sit in my room and "read."

My first day as well as the two weeks after I began high school all started and ended the exact same way.

It begins with me being late to the bus, then getting laughed at because I liked the "old man music" the bus driver used to play.

Not to mention I had to take the special ed bus in order to get to the correct side of campus.

I was late to my first period and sometimes even walked into the wrong classroom and awkwardly asked for directions. 

I was soft spoken back then so I always got looked at funny and had to ask 2-3 times before getting an answer.

After getting in my appropriate classroom I sat in the far back, left corner and did all my work without an issue.

I had three classes before lunch but only went to 2 of them, this is because I had to go to a special math and reading class. 

I also sat in that same room during lunch eating with the teachers in their and my best friend of the time named Bailey.

After lunch was PE witch I can tell you that no matter what we did was my most hated class, I have never been very athletic and never will be.

I got teased in PE so naturally after this I went to the counselors office and running late to my last class.

Once every other week I got a snack-pack and walked home.

After getting home I go into my room and sit in there for at least an hour reading before I helped clean up for dinner.

After eating, doing dishes and making sure my dad was passed out in his actual bed I went and did my homework.

I have never fallen asleep before around 10:00pm and I wake up around 6 every morning.

The rest of freshman year was a haze for many obvious reasons but this was also around the same time that I started getting into photojournalism.

Overall I regret most of the things I did and am glad that I've made it through that and I'm almost going to graduate and I'm so happy.

no not really I'm hella depressed and don't want to get up in the morning to deal with school but their isn't anything I can do about it if I want to be a success and not a failure to my entire outside family and friends. 

I was addicted to many things at this time  including energy drinks, self harming, and even toxic people and situations a threw myself in. It wasn't until after sophomore year that I became a stronger person.